Say the words “boudoir shoot” and I can almost guarantee that someone in the room will clench and balk at the idea of participating in one. And why? You get the chance to dress up (or down, whatever you want), do your makeup (if that’s your thing), and strut your stuff in front of the camera. It seems like a dream, right? Not for everyone. See, the universal thing that everyone- even those that love being in front of the camera- have to face during a boudoir shoot is fear.

Boudoir shoots require a lot of the model and the photographer. The main thing that a shoot like this requires from both parties is complete openness. Merriam-Webster defines boudoir as “a woman’s dressing room, bedroom, or private sitting room.” So, that openness we talked about just a second ago? It’s that “at home with my pants off” kind of openness. Not only do we shed our clothes in our bedrooms, but also the masks that we wear when we’re dealing with other people. It’s completely normal to feel the fear of being exposed physically, mentally, and emotionally when we participate in boudoir shoots. It’s important, though, to the concept of boudoir and to feel comfortable with our bodies (in general) to walk- no, run- headfirst into these moments. Easier said than done? HARD agree.

Booking a boudoir shoot becomes even more trivial when you think about how much pressure there is to exist for everyone except yourself. When Dove did a campaign, they found that “92% of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look, with body weight ranking the highest.” This doesn’t even touch the stats on men, and the sheer volume of people that feel this way about themselves makes it difficult to help every single person through their issues. The disdain for our bodies easily goes unchecked with age, which ultimately robs a lot of people of a life where they get to appreciate their own bodies. And the body positivity movement is an enormous help, but if we aren’t doing the personal work to undo the damage caused by negative body image it can only do so much. Here’s Where Boudoir Shoots Come In

On the outside, they look like a luxury that is excessive and self-indulgent. Yes to all of those things. I won’t lie to you and say that they are not, but I’ll explain why they’re necessary. Have you ever seen a pendulum swing? To start a pendulum, you pull the hanging ball completely off-center, then let it go. It will swing all the way the opposite direction and back over and over again covering less distance the longer it swings until it finally reaches equilibrium. At that point, it stops. You are the ball. The older you are, your unchecked negative body image is the hand pulling you off equilibrium. This affects every part of your life including the way you interact with others, your confidence, and more. When you start doing the work to fix those issues, maybe you start with something luxurious like a boudoir shoot. As the swings get less dramatic, the internal work gets harder. A boudoir shoot can be a huge first step and the photos you get from the shoot act as a reminder that even though you’re not seeing a dramatic change, you’re still making progress on the inside. You took that first step. ...Then There’s Your Boudoir Photographer

Boudoir photographers are like self-love doulas. They are responsible for making sure you’re comfortable because the morning of a shoot is when your brain will fire off some of the nastiest thoughts you’ve ever heard. Your brain is trying to keep you “safe.” Don’t fret. Go to your shoot. Your boudoir doula will capture you in the best light, give you unforgettable memories that you’re happy with, and continually remind you how much of a badass you are. Your boudoir photographer will teach you the ultimate way to talk to yourself. Don’t like the way that pose feels? “Okay, let’s try something that makes you look and feel amazing!” A boudoir photographer will show you the grace and love that you should be showing yourself. And when it’s all over, they will deliver photos that will show you that you are brilliant and deserving of all of the love right now, in the skin you’re in. So, go ahead. Get that shoot. You deserve it.